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Poor Behavior Is Not Linked to Time in Day Care - New York Times

Link: Poor Behavior Is Linked to Time in Day Care - New York Times.

The headline should be: "Great Behavior Is Linked to Time in Quality Day Care".   

Poor behavior in day care graduates is only ascribed to those children in substandard day care.  I am frankly becoming quite unnerved by the volume of messaging attacking daycare as a general concept.  Given the necessity of dual-working parents across most income demographics, it's not a useful construct.

My two children are successful graduates of daycare.  I think daycare has provided additional stimuli and social benefits that we could not have provided under any other scenario. 

March 29, 2007 in Children | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Experts are just part of the solution

Perhaps because my mother continually received calls from teachers dismayed at my "underperformance" in school, it was not a surprise to learn that my older son was being assigned a reading specialist, since he was having trouble keeping up with the other children in his first grade class.

I was willing to carve out 90 minute slots for people I didn't know.  Why wasn't I willing to carve out slots for my children, especially when they needed me?

So Ben started coming to my office Mondays and Wednesdays after school to work on homework.  It quickly became apparent that reading was a big issue.  He didn't want to do it.  It made him feel stupid.  He felt the other kids were making fun of him.  It was hard.  He was forced to read "baby books", where he still failed. 

The last statement made me see red. But in fact his reading was awful.

One day, I held up a book in front of me so I was peering over the top.  Something told me to watch his eyes as he read.  Instead of making linear left-to-right movements to follow text, his eyes appeared to jump all over.  As I watched, the apparently random pattern began to resolve into the pattern of the illustrations. 

So I retyped the text of the book into a Word document, one sentence per page, 36 point type.

I put it in front of him.  He read, with great difficulty.  My heart sank.  But as he was dressing to go home, he said, "Dad, reading was a lot easier without the pictures.  Can we do it again?" 

Over the past few months, we've read, covering the pictures with white paper. 

And why not?  This is a boy whose visual intelligence is truly precocious.  Little kids' books are richly illustrated.  What's more interesting - the images or the text?  Clearly, for Ben, it's the images.  I can't blame him.  Covering the pictures is the only way to make the text interesting.

A technique for teaching reading is to have kids focus on the pictures for clues to the words meanings.  But for kids like Ben, the pictures are more interesting and complex in context than the words. 

Everyone missed this. 

Experts are taught to be experts in a technique or a set of techniques.  It's impossible to become deep in multiple areas, which means that experts are self-limiting in their breadth.  They're the 80 in 80-20 solutions.  For us 20s, it is imperative that we use our own wits to arrive at practical solutions. 

So I don't blame them, but it makes me worried about the kids who don't have parents who can take work hours to focus on their issues, or who don't have access to resources who can help figure out the unique needs of each child.  It's left me with an overwhelming sense of how truly lucky I and Ben are and a question about how to help the kids who don't have his advantages.

March 21, 2007 in Children, Education, Personal | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Why mom shouldn't do drop-off

Last Friday, Allison was rushing the boys out the door.  As per usual on Fridays, when Allison does drop-off, Elliott burst out in tears since he didn't have a toy to bring to school.

Ben: "Mom, I don't think you should do drop-off any more."

Allison: "Why not?"

Ben: "Elliott loves you too much so he always makes it hard for us to leave."

December 18, 2006 in Children | Permalink | Comments (0)

My kids don't laugh at me - yet

Today I skated for the second time in my life.  The first was two weekends ago.

First, I took Ben out for a spin around the ice, trying to hold him up as he flopped weakly on the ice.  His heart was not in it.  He could see his friends and they all looked better than him.  I swallowed my disappointment as he spared his dignity and repaired to food and warmth.

Later, Elliott asked to go skating with his buddy Adda.  So I wrapped my arms around Elliott and skated one loop around holding what felt like a bluefish on the line.  "One more?", I asked, half hoping he would and would not.  He nodded.  And off we went.

My father came to the U.S. in 1956 from Korea at the age of 25.  Here, he learned to ride a bike, cast a rod, throw a ball, bowl, play golf.  When I was small, about Ben's age, I loved to throw the ball.  We played enthusiastically.  Later, I realized he played unskillfully.  "You throw like a girl", I'd  say.  Quickly, it became too embarrassing to for both of us to play together, but just before that happened, he managed to teach me to ride a bike, running behind me holding the bike by the rear of the seat and when I finally sailed off triumphantly, I know he triumphed, too.

My kids are not skating yet, but I anticipate being triumphant and fearful of becoming an embarrassment.

December 03, 2006 in Children | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Sleep does not treat all body parts equally...

Elliott, who's three, was half-awake after an hour of napping.

"Elliott, it's time to get up," I say helpfully.

"I can't.  My legs are still sleeping."

November 26, 2006 in Children | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)